I'm getting increasingly concious of my demeanour during the day. The gut reactions I have to situations are seeing me lash out quickly and repent later (if at all, as I was surprised to find yesterday).
It's interesting how subjecting yourself to something (say, a crap day job) day after day which on some level you find repellent in its lack of imagination, lack of direction, lack of focus and lack of energy can in fact whittle your sense of humour to a rather nasty point.
I'm worried that staying in situations like that makes you a smaller person, and that's self-defeating. Is sticking around for 6 months while you wait for a place to inevitably shut down so you receive some form of payout a wise thing to do IF in the process you become so jaded, so conditioned to believe that only those who are least qualified to lead end up doing so?
Why is it (particularly in the UK) we have such appalling managers? Such spineless, spiteful, mentally decrepit, report-obsessed spacks? It's an old addage, but in the world of engineering, those who can, do, those who can't get put in charge of a project and ultimately get promoted.
Don't think, for a minute, that I'm interested in heading up some fatuous project. My ambitions lie on very different paths. Like the one that goes over a cliff (I don't have any ambitions)... I used to dream of being famous for being a bassist, but I wonder if there's any point now. Music is as throwaway as the Maccy D box in the gutter, and wraps just as many products. When was the last time you registered good pop or rock as it was played like some form of lift music behind another BBC or ITV trailer? It's sad, really. Only live music can now really satisfy, which might indicate partly why so many acts are going back out on the road....