Not some dude-style reference to comedy pastimes. Should I have kids?
If you know me, you'll know committing that question to any form of readable stuff is quite a step forwards. I've been debating the issue again with myself on and off for the last few weeks, running around like the proverbial rat in a maze down the usual blind alleys labelled "self-loathing", "mortality", "loss of self", "economics" etc etc.
And I still have the feeling I don't have enough information to make the decision. I'm a terrible decision maker anyway, and barring infanticide (which is a little messy once the authorities know you've got one) there's no real way to reverse your decision once it's been made.
I've always been dead set against having kids, mainly due to the usual middle-class vices of having free time to think and hobbies. If you think about stuff enough you never do it: fear is the mind-killer.
But, predictably as the sun rising and setting, I've come to wonder what the hell I'm doing anything for: if all it's for is getting a couple of strands of molecules to make it into another protoplasmic carrier for 4 score and 10, it all seems pretty bloody pointless.
I wish there was someone I thought could tell me something about this which would help... there isn't, is there?
So I'll do the trad british thing and muddle through, I guess. I bet most kids are accidental...
If anyone's listening out there in information blizzardsville, let me know if you made the decision and did it, and why.
1 comment:
It was my niece what did it. We ended up living with her for a year -- from around her first birthday to her second -- and of course became very close. I was there when she walked for the first time -- in fact, it was me who persuaded her to do it. The difference between someone else's kid and a kid you're really close to is like the difference between the loud shite music of the inconsiderate bastard next to you on the bus and performing in a band. I was never interested in babies -- wasn't much interested in my niece when she was a small baby, in fact -- but I can't put them down now. Can't bear the thought of not having children now. If we couldn't have one of our own, I'd adopt.
But looks like we will have one of our own in a few weeks. Can't wait.
A good reason not to do it is if you genuinely think you'd be a really bad parent. But I think you'd be good at it.
Best of luck with the agonised decision-making.
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