Happy new year! I'll be asleep.....

Twas the night before driving for 13 hours,
and all through the house,
lots of things got unpacked in a hurry,
including an infra-red mouse.
The audio equipment was stashed with due care,
in hopes that on arrival it would all still be there.
The laptop was nested all snug in its case,
With visions of new Janeiro tracks (with cracking bass).

Tomorrow we set off. Around 10am we'll pull out of folkestone on the chunnel train in the car, and tomtom will guide us (with the excellent european map pack - I'd recommend it to anyone) all the was to Andorra. We're planning to stop off in Toulouse, which should be interesting.

I've rationed myself to a 4, 5 and 6 string bass, which should be more than enough. My rationale is that while I'm out there it's music and boarding, boarding and music, so I might as well go for it!

Only thing bothering me at the moment is a lack of small MIDI controller keyboard. I think I'll have to get one while I'm out there. Still, I'll have the ultimate small studio system then! Must update my webpage with the new gear... have to do that when i get back :)

Got lots of spare drive capacity - 2x120Gb drives plus a small 20Gb one as well. Even brought a little DVB stick along! Wonder if they've got digital TV in Andorra...

Wish me luck - this is definitely feeling the fear and doing it anyway, so to speak.

Finally - and this goes out to anyone who is willing to read my diary, such as it is, with its' occasional philosophical meanderings - have a great new new year. Here's to your 2007 - I hope it's as interesting as mine is going to be!

And if you still work for Panasonic... then good luck to you too :) Big shout out to Darren K, Chris B (the man in the far east), Sean C, Abid K, Shinee R, Mike L, James T... have fun this year guys, and be careful with that system.... :)

Oh god yeah - and here's to James Brown. I've spent more happy hours playing his stuff than most other - with the Apostles in St Andrews, we used to do a version of Sex machine that lasted literally 15 minutes and caused people to almost drop dancing.... wild.

Stagecraft... gulp!

There's something I'll have to do more of out there in Andorra which I admit scares me a little - I'll have to front the band a bit! While Jamie is without a doubt the star, he does need a break sometimes so I need to sing a few tracks so he can back off a bit. I was tinkering with the bassline to "the boys are back in town" earlier on today on the 6 string (ah, strumming those barre chords will def help thicken things out!) and thinking about how complex and "semi spoken" the words are...

cripes!

I'll have to practise that one until I'm sick of it! Actually, I've only sung a whole sung as the "front", as it were, a couple of times - really, it's a question of practise, I think. I'd guess I'll just have to tone down the complexity of the basslines to try to give myself more head space to remember lyrics, etc. I think I can just about handle some green day though. We'll have to work on some new green day tracks. Basket case does get 'em going though. Just ask David Hasselhoff. The hoff knows, he does.

Last day at work! Now I can look forward...

Wierd day. Wierd, wierd day.

I had all those "Well, this is the last time I'll" moments getting into the building, then I spent the day sorting out things to bring home (including the pinky and the brain characters Nic bought me years ago) and making sure my exit didn't leave anyone in the lurch...

And at 11:30 a small crowd of brave souls who were still in the building on the last friday before christmas gathered to see me off. When I left Racal years ago it was totally different, I just left really. Getting the card was nice, and the sequin covered fluffy red cowboy hat (which Chris B assures me is essential in Brighton clubs, along with white gloves) was a nice touch. Apparently Darren quizzing me about using iTunes to buy music was to make sure I did ( they were going to get me an iTunes card) but I then went off on one of my little rants about how I hate iTunes music shop because they don't sample at a high enough rate. Truth is, I'm a staunch CD buyer because that's the best digital quality you can buy - you can dictate the sample quality when YOU rip it, and if you buy your CDs on play, you'll pay about the same rate as iTunes charge per track. DON'T LET THEM RIP YOU OFF THIS WAY! 128k is not quick enough.

I think I may have just illustrated my rant. And possibly restated it again. Sorry about that, I tend to go off on one... :)

Anyway, I was genuinely touched by the sendoff. Actually, lots of people have been really nice about what I'm doing - very few people have called me mad (at least not to my face!) and one or two have actually implied I'm something of a hero! I'm flattered, but it's definitely time I had some form of career break from the desk jobs to tax myself in another sphere before I come back. If you read this, Mike Livingstone, I will make sure I get in touch once I get back to earth. Thanks for the comment mate, means a lot. :)

And now I can really look forward to the season - although at the moment Andorra is lacking in snow like a lot of european resorts. It's looking bad in the alps unless you're over 2000m... I think Andorra may be in a good position in the pyrenees though, the warm moist air from the atlantic should dump on the pistes!

Been trying to squeeze practise into all the madness recently - I'll be blistering by the time I get on stage. In a good way.

Got to unpack some of the studio to get at some software before I leave and no mistake....

Getting VEEEERY close now...

If you click on the title of this post, you can look down into the comments about Soldeu for a mention of Breeze (who are gigging as Janeiro in this winter season with yours truly!)... I've got a lot to live up to, obviously!

So much to catch up on.... OK, I'll try to get it into some kind of order.

1. Moved house
Nic and I moved again! Found a place (at the last moment, it's got to be said) a couple of miles up the road, really beautiful, and space for the Virago in a nice dry shed. We have a pond, ducks and a moorhen (which you can hear at 1am). We also have a dairy herd which wanders along the hill opposite in the mornings while you're trying to make breakfast!

Currently the house is a total shambles, but it's getting there. Kitchen is arranged (better than the one we had before!) but my studio is still well and truly in boxes. Good news - the mixing desk is working again, I can recommend sending your dead Soundcraft 328XD power supply off for repair with some guys I found near stevenage. Total cost was around £113 for the repair, as opposed to £450 for a new supply from soundcraft... no contest! If anyone wants the address give me a shout on the blog. I need to unpack some of the studio so I can get at software before I leave!

The cats are going stir crazy, surprise, but they seem to like the new place. It's a lot warmer. Despite feeling more rural that the last place, it's actually got gas central heating(!) - never mind the cost, the place is WARM!

So all in all a good move. We did it with one luton transit again, and that definitely is the last time. After the 6 vanloads, (2 of which were solo on my own! We did get lots of help from my Bro and Nic's mum for which I am eternally grateful) and the cleaning of the old place, I took a week to recover. Hard hard work. Volga boatmen city.

2. Ready for Andorra
Well, nearly. I've got a laptop (finally) to keep the blog up to date (I notice I've got a comment or two - thanks for those, whoever you are...!) and hopefully do some recording out there with Cubase. I'll be using internet cafes though I think, thankfully I'm sure there is one in Soldeu and the access cards aren't too expensive.

Our gear (Nic's skis and my boards) has already gone down in the van - Jamie is already down there! Actually, the Van is a worry - currently the brakes aren't working, but thankfully they got there OK before they gave out. I've got the workshop manuals for LDV vans which look like they're pretty good, but how do I diagnose from this distance?????? eek.

3. Job situation....
I've had a lot of good positive noises from ex-panasonic employees - many thanks to all of them - and I'll be working on my CV (probably towards the tail end of while I'm out in Andorra, now I've got a laptop) in order to come steaming back to the UK and find a software sector to terrorise. Typically, I've got something really juicy to dig into at work as well. Wish I'd had that 3 months ago, but what can you do? It takes a long time to persuade the Japanese of things.

4. That's it.

Oh yeah... I fixed my car up. Window winder, windscreen, tail light... little things.

Another breeze gig last friday... another one this thursday!!!

Cool, I could use the cash! Need to get a laptop so I can keep this stuff up... mainly as if my counter is right, there's a few of you who drop by every so often. Including that anonymous comment from "Parker" to my last post! I'm guessing that's you, Elwyn :)

If not - drop me another comment, anonymous - anyone who mentions VB and the Witney Wisp (are we referring to 'arry 'arris 'ere?) should shurely be Elwyn???

Oh - and I'm stoked that the snow out there is good. 100 inches at Baker? Woah, I would sooooo like to be there :) The boarding I did at Banff was some of the best - American and canadian ski resorts rule, I suspect - Europe needs more himalayas (or at least our own pocket san andreas for more hilly bits).

So yes... another Breeze gig this thursday! And I've got to get some serious stuff packed - we're taking the studio out there!!! So not only do I get to spend that time playing music and boarding (when I have chance - remember, this is hard work we're talking about here) - we're going to get some writing done as well! Jamie is driving down fairly soonish so I'll be taking him a load of stuff this thursday night as well as the trace 2x10 cab to extend the V-Amp V4 combo (which, BTW, sounds totally awesome - I'd kill for one of those!).

Sweet!

Things at work have been cool - I've actually done more work recently that ever before, lots of little apps to do cool stuff remote controlling other apps using AutoIT v3 (yeah, I'm a dweeb on the side). Hopefully when I get back I can get myself another post fairly quickly, but with any luck in a new place close to home.

Oh yes... and we're moving house this weekend!!!! Not doing things by halves, eh... Nice new place though, very warm. And not oil powered. BTW, if you have the misfortune to be in an oil-powered house, try boilerjuice.com - they are very very cool and very very useful.

Wish me luck, I have a PC, 2 monitors and several bits of 19" rackmount gear to pack for the back of a van :)

Oh yes, and my 5 string. And my board. And Nic's skis.

Cheerio punters

Andy The Man With Something To Live For

My Andorra Trip Will Be...

for 10 weeks, starting January!

Bless 'em, Panasonic simply couldn't cope without me, they said, so I had to give my notice today. I still don't really understand why they can't give a sabb until I get back, and still have all these talents I apparently possess, but there you are.

Gentle reader, how could I, a 36 year old male bassist, turn down the chance to stretch my capabilities in a totally different and very demanding sphere, because my employer hasn't granted a sabb before and doesn't know what to do?

I think this marks a great phase for me: I will find a software company who rate software quality as I do and blow them away with the force of my testing. It will be a meeting of minds and hearts.

I have broken free!

The time is drawing on...

I've decided to existentially link my titles through Google to the rest of the interweb. Maybe it'll throw up the occasional irony. Enormous parallel search machines can do that, it's a sort of electronic serendipity.

The andorra sabbatical draws near, and so does preparation. We're moving house again, so it's time to start packing things up. I always get wistful when packing up the studio (although at the moment I need to keep some things available for 1) gigging and 2) trying to recording backing tracks with). Did the drumkit last night (yamaha electronic job, very portable). Hopefully that'll give me some room to stash boxes in the corner in!

Basically, we need to move to bring rent down anyway, but while I'm away Nic will have to cover things at this end (I will help out as much as possible!) so it's time to downsize a bit if possible. It also has the added bonus that we can try to move much closer to where Nic works. This will also mean that I escape from Thatcham, I suspect: we will see.

How to feel undervalued?
Did a presentation yesterday for the test system I've contributed one hell of a lot to. However, I felt compelled to jump in and start explaining things in more depth when the magic word "we" started being used too much and I felt a little undervalued: we've had a few people come through the team I work in, and believe me a lot of them just weren't up to the task. I've fixed problems in every piece of software in the system, and implemented most of the scripts. So what's this "we" business about? While I acknowledge I haven't done all the work (far from it), 2 of the systems wouldn't exist and nearly every cool aspect of the original one was implemented by me.

I have an insatiable appetite for being told I am responsible for success, but it never, ever happens enough. Bit self-evident that one. I think I'm basically socially maladjusted that way, which is probably why I'm crap in offices (I never want to lead teams, always want to beaver away at impressive solutions to problems people don't know how to tackle, etc) but great on stage with a Bass (love me, please, tell me I'm not utterly inadequate and basically shite at everything)

I think the bottom may be falling out of my belief system.

Colds. Gotta cave into 'em.

This one's nice, like having exploding sweets (pop rocks? can't remember) on your throat.

Central heating on - colds caught.

Sheesh modern living eh?

About to start packing up house again, every 12 months or less recently. Not fun.

Been trying to find the brass sound in "addicted to love", the cheesy palmer classic. Can't find it! Need to hook up the old midi module and see what it's got.

Satch on the ipod, "war" from crystal planet. A favourite of mine. Nice bass start too.

Stu rules! I met him once doing a jazz gig in a department store in SF. Him, not me!

Board board board - time to think about it again

Yes, it's time to think about the annual try-not-to-break-anything fest.

This year has a different twist though, which brings it more into the spirit of this haphazard blog.

I think I'll be in Andorra for 10 weeks playing in "Breeze", the covers band! Play at night, board in the day... and I've got a new Burton Custom X to try out!

Can't wait. This is the chance of a lifetime.

In between, just have to find somewhere new to live... the rent on our place is sooooo high it's mental, so it's time to save some cash, esp as the pay out in andorra is a lot less than I'm on at the moment! It is pretty good though, and board and lodging is more or less thrown in.

I'll go through a few strings playing 6 nights a week though and no mistake... eek

Nostalgia? Thing of the past.
Groan.
Sorry about that. I did get misty eyed earlier on though, found a really nice aerial view of where I "grew up". I say that in quotes as it was the place we lived the longest, although even then it wasn't that long. Local.live.com (which is actually a great site despite being microsoft's) has it [..:: HERE ::..] . It's the walled garden with the large house attached in the middle of the map, on the way out of town towards St Andrews.

I loved it there.

birthday stuff, the lads n haggis

What a wierd and cool weekend it was.

Friday night was an O'neills in oxford, first one with rich back from hols. Blinder, enjoyed it lots.

Saturday was in the crown and thistle in abingdon, and that was a wierd night.

The warwick ccl packed up - yet again, showing shite build quality, why do warwick insist on using pcb ribbon cables with no snaplock on the connectors? the pro ix head i bought kept shaking off the power amp connectors, then the combo's done the same, but it's royally shafted the poweramp, which is now permanently muted. Great.

Anyway, I used the trace V4 valve combo the lads have and plugged in the 2x10 trace cab. Sounded really good. That combo is spectacular, needs overhauling tho.

Wierd motorhead fan got me doubled up with mirth asking for ace of spades and making bad smell faces at me during the gig when we played other stuff hee hee!

And between sets Jamie and Steve nipped back to the van and got... a haggis! With 4 candles. Bless! they got me a jester hat as well, which is cool.

Then, after one of the most fun gigs I've had (big solo) Jamie got the whole pub to sing happy birthday to ME! Quite touched. I can see andorra is going to be a blast! Breeze even have positive review as part of a review of Soldeu on a ski site.

Phew, the P910 is smokin now!

Great gig at the Embassy in london last night Dan mate. Electric City rule! Celebs were in attendance... 2 pints, anyone? heh

TOTALLY knackered. Really. :)

That 3 night in a row thing last week left me dazed and confused on Sunday morning, I'll tell ya. All 3 nights were pretty full on, with the third one seeing Jamie pretty much having to sit down at the end. The O'neills gig on Friday night wasn't without incident either - on his second foray into the crowd (I now have to fix the wireless Nady sender for him again!) he got into it a bit in a crowded moshpit zone at the front and had a clash of heads with a female member of the audience. Both were not really hurt, but Jamie was pretty dazed and rested his head against the stack on his side of the stage for a minute or so while he recovered while Steve and I continued!

Drink being what it is, Jamie got some lip later on suggesting he had headbutted the girl (which he definitely didn't!) - Jamie took that kinda personally, which I don't blame him for at all. But students will be students, after a few beers - these were americans too, really up for having a good time. I suspect they must have thought Breeze were more like the Pistols by the end, how wrong can you be? The Breeze work ethic is terrifying to behold... :)

I'm itching to get into my studio and tinker... need a myspace site with some homegrown audio on it!!!

Cheersh

A

Gig gig gig (literally)

3 gigs in a row: one last night in Izi's in Witney (mental night, people falling backwards onto the stage from the "mosh pit"), one tonight in O'Neills and then another one Saturday night at a birthday do somewhere...

and it's a 3-piece... with me singing a bit (gulp!)

Richie is on hols (hopefully having fun!) so it's just me, Jamie and Steve. As it shall hopefully be in Andorra come january... I think it's going to work out pretty well. I'm not used to singing and playing, takes a bit for me to back off and play simply so I can concentrate on singing a bit: a very different style of performing for me. I'm not singing all of particular songs yet, but there's definitely one or two I can do. Just have to guage what my voice is capable of and remember my diaphragm. Stop tittering at the back.

A

Circular Arguments

Not another "should I have a kid" thing? Nah. Had enough of that question. I was listening to the radio this morning and not only did R4 (I'll admit I do listen in the mornings on the way to work, although I'm pretty sure it's bad for my BP) have some twittery stuff about a blogger in Paris, but the local radio berkshite channel has their "blog" in the mornings where locals witter on about the weather and lack of resources.

Which made me wonder if my nonsensical scattergun crap was worth writing (let alone reading!) - just another whiney middle class white boy (if 35 qualifies) railing against stuff he can't do anything about...

Maybe I should just stick to stuff about music.

Getting older...
Hmmm. I've been watching my hands with interest during the last few weeks since I got back from holiday. 2 weeks out, and I thought I'd have a tough time of it when I got back: this is partly true. The breeze gigs have been hard work, but what's odder is the stiffness in my right hand (I'm paranoid about that one - that's the wrist I broke in Canada) which seems to start up if I don't practise really really hard in the evenings for at least 45 minutes. If I do that, I'm strong as an ox: all that billy sheehan/stu hamm/pastorius/flea stuff comes flying out as easily as ever.

I really should be making my own music by now. Some silence in the evenings would help I suspect! No excuses now either, I've dumped every sample and loop CD I have onto the studio PC so I can scan and drag as quickly as I like to try to mash something interesting together. Even found sounds for Halion I haven't installed! Tut tut.

BT and virgin net
Dweeb stuff. Haven't had any ADSL now for getting on for 7 weeks: virgin's policy is to listen politely to you complain to their 25p a minute tech support line, ask BT to do a basic line check even though you've TOLD them repeatedly that ADSL has been disabled on your line (can't hear anything on there with the ADSL filter out - should hear a lot of high pitched noise) and only after the third BT response that "nothing is wrong" do they raise an engineer call. Or rather they don't.

Then the BT line went out completely (no voice either) so now I'm totally stuffed. Called BT on the mobile, got calls diverted, helpful fella name of Andy made all the right noises and told me he'd get an engineer out on monday (this was last saturday). Great, thinks I, what a helpful chap. Text message alerts tell me it's actually going to be a week on monday (OK, I'll let that one go, thinks I), then I get another text on sunday morning saying an engineer will call that day, and nothing happens: no engineer. Called them back last night, and apparently there isn't even a voice fault registered on my line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This bore out what their online fault tracker service said (http://www.bt.com/faults) which pissed me off even further.

Virgin net AND BT, you're both a bunch of useless organisations. (note: keeping it printable)

Now I've found out some underground cables have been identified as substandard, so they're being replaced.

Hopefully this'll mean we'll get 2MB ADSL for the first time....?

I'm not holding my breath.

Gigs gigs n more gigs...

It's all Breezy at the moment. Jamie just told me about another good gig in Witney mid-sept, which I'm happy to do. Should be a blast, a birthday party!

I've been working hard on the Warwick 4-string with heavy strings, in particular playing "parallel universe" by the Chilipeppers using the 3-finger right hand technique I use for fast passages. It must have worked, I picked up the 6-string yesterday and found it so easy to play it was a great laugh! This will now be added to my practise schedule. I'm also considering the benefits of quitting Coffee: I'm sure I read somewhere it's bad for your joints in the long term.

On that note, I've noticed a slight stiffness in my ring finger last joint - at the tip - which vanishes when I practise: perhaps this is my body's version of cold turkey. Practise or seize up! I suppose I should keep an eye out for wear and tear, after all I've been playing for about 18 years now (half my life!) and I haven't slowed down a bit (apart from not playing Iron Maiden all the time with 2-finger triplets - I was very proud of that, try playing "somewhere in time" all the way through playing all those triplets with 2 fingers! I discovered later that Steve Harris - for it is he - uses 3!) - so I should keep an eye on my joints. I'm on chondritin and glucosamine as joint-protectors so hopefully I can look forward to another 30 years of this insanity!

the kid question
The incorrigible Joseph Reeves - who is most likely the only person to read my ramblings here - posted an interesting comment to my little metaphysical notes about having children which has set me thinking once more about the whole topic. I considered this morning that the fact I haven't made a big positive decision about it (i.e. "yes, I'll do it") might indicate that I still have the same attitude as I always have, that it's just not compatible with modern south-east england existence, cost of living, loss of capitalistic comforts etc, but I then second-guessed that and remembered that I'm actually a rather risk-averse person. I tend to believe that I can't do something, so I don't start it (or it seems that way from previous experience of stuff I've done).

Joe also expressed things in a rather eloquent fashion from one musician to another - "The difference between someone else's kid and a kid you're really close to is like the difference between the loud shite music of the inconsiderate bastard next to you on the bus and performing in a band."

I hadn't thought about it that way. But it does rest on the premise that you want to bond with the kid in the first place - surely you only put up with stuff because you want to?

This is a most interesting internal debate, which is doing a great job of filling the 38 minutes to and from work (when the M4 isn't shite, that is)

Last thursday's Breeze gig... I feel like a proper...

Musician!
It's not that I don't normally, but usually I'm content to keep quiet at the back and get endlessly self-critical about the way I'm playing things. Something about last thirsday was totally different though - Steve (drummer) and I were on something in the air, I think, totally wired - reading each other really well (jay noticed). And I took - gasp - a solo which - double gasp - I enjoyed!

Seriously, you've never heard such a mangled midsection in Long Train Running - I went totally batshit. Really enjoyed it, dug in hard on the Warwick. I actually took a bow at the end of the track and meant it!

Got big kudos off the crowd who wanted to yak about it as well - big shout to the bass player guy who also has a warwick, see you this thursday mate, same place, same time - 10pm at O'Neills in Oxford!

It's grand being a musician, it really is....

Embarrasment of riches...

Well, I'm much in demand it seems :) Got a first meeting of Project X (as I will call it for now until it becomes something concrete!) tomorrow evening - I'll take along my gear but I suspect it'll be something of a jam session to get to know people, which'll be fun, I haven't stretched my legs in a band scenario in a while (it's been a good few weeks since the last Breeze gig!).

Speaking of Breeze, was hoping to get together before thursday but the evenings this week after monday all got used up before we had a chance to get a room (so to speak)... still, I've done a lot of work on "tell me baby" (some of it in the car - harmonies on those choruses, very nice), Chili's latest, and I'm now pretty confident I can cover that track well enough! So thursday's gig may contain it... ? We'll see. One of the guys from Panasonic says he might drop by and check us out. The guys have that new PA as well, I'll be asking how much gear I need to bring: maybe stack jr will do... speaking of which, looks like I'll be changing the setup again soonish. If we move to a smaller place, I've got too much amp gear. Way too much! I need some lightweight cabs with lots of projection and power handling, which are smaller than the full size 4x10 and 1x15 Warwicks I have now. Could cost a bit, I'm wondering about Eden or bag end or whatever boutique crap contains those rare-earth magnets that give you big power handling. Watch this space.

Oh, and Jay from Breeze (bless 'im) threw me some dep work which I might take on - it depends on time, really, how much I think I have - all this work is in the oxford area and I live near windsor, for 'eavens sake! But a Madness tribute act with lots of work? Could be fun ;)

Either way, the late summer of '06 looks like it's not going to be boring, and you can't say fairer than that.

And Andorra, while not thrashed out in detail yet, is still on... oh yeah

Cheers m'deers

Rebirth of a rebirth??? :)

Something this way comes...
An interesting week, this one! Breeze is getting well underway in Oxford, O'neills gigs a gogo until the end of the year - and the guys have got themselves a new 3K (yipe!) PA! Total stars they are. I've also got another interesting proposal on my desk (so to speak) which might come to something interesting... won't say more now, don't want to jinx it.

I've been digging into Chilipeppers stuff HARD on the Warwick 4 string - fingers tingling at the tips every night, I'm determined to be up and ready for the first Breeze gig in 1 weeks time. Jay is cool with getting together to work on a couple of new ones including "tell me baby" - the current Chilis single - which will go down a storm! The bass is classic slap flea, really simple and grooving. I think I should be able to hold down a vocal harmony on the chorus if I'm lucky. Hopefully the PA will improve my gravelly snore-ravaged tones... :)

I hadn't realised how out-of-shape my hands were until I really started to dig in. Not fatigued per se, they just wouldn't do what I asked when told to work hard! Quick enough.... just no power. So it's bass weight training time!

And it's fun too. Just realised I should take all the CDs for the books I've got and get them onto the iPod. Why didn't I do that sooner? Could then do that slap course with so much less hassle! The portable Sony CD player I've been using has a MASSIVELY loud "beep" when you press keys - why?

Wierd. Japanese, eh? Who can fathom it.

An experiment.....

Not tried to embed something in the blog - let's see if this works....



priceless - it gets better the longer you watch.

I've been out of the UK to Crete taking a well-deserved break (god knows how my bank balance looks) - but the Breeze gigs will be soon - the guys have a new PA! Big big big and shiny shiny shiny. Nice!

Right - did that embed work?

To kid or not to kid....

Not some dude-style reference to comedy pastimes. Should I have kids?

If you know me, you'll know committing that question to any form of readable stuff is quite a step forwards. I've been debating the issue again with myself on and off for the last few weeks, running around like the proverbial rat in a maze down the usual blind alleys labelled "self-loathing", "mortality", "loss of self", "economics" etc etc.

And I still have the feeling I don't have enough information to make the decision. I'm a terrible decision maker anyway, and barring infanticide (which is a little messy once the authorities know you've got one) there's no real way to reverse your decision once it's been made.

I've always been dead set against having kids, mainly due to the usual middle-class vices of having free time to think and hobbies. If you think about stuff enough you never do it: fear is the mind-killer.

But, predictably as the sun rising and setting, I've come to wonder what the hell I'm doing anything for: if all it's for is getting a couple of strands of molecules to make it into another protoplasmic carrier for 4 score and 10, it all seems pretty bloody pointless.

I wish there was someone I thought could tell me something about this which would help... there isn't, is there?

So I'll do the trad british thing and muddle through, I guess. I bet most kids are accidental...

If anyone's listening out there in information blizzardsville, let me know if you made the decision and did it, and why.

Peace.

Peace is spending some quality time with your family, after having to persuade yourself out of the hectic mind-set that life in the south east gives you.

Leicestershire is stunning in the sun.

A